Hoarding is a true mental and spiritual battle for many people. One that is greatly misunderstood, and often even frowned upon. But because hoarding poses real spiritual dangers for all Christians, we should talk about it. Let’s shed some light on this often-hidden battle, and find Biblical ways to break free from it.
About hoarding
When a person hoards, he or she accumulates or collects items. From a medical standpoint, this doesn’t have to become a problem. During the Covid lockdown, many people hoarded toilet paper, without it being a mental disorder. And someone can collect stamps or coins as a hobby, without it posing a threat to mental health. There can be spiritual dangers to this though, as we will explore later.
Hoarding becomes a so-called mental disorder when one has persistent difficulty parting with possessions. The idea of parting with possessions, regardless of their value, is distressing for them. As a result, the items gradually pile up until they become a threat to health and mental well-being. Unfortunately, the hoarders themselves often don’t see the clutter as problematic. As they age, their symptoms worsen and the clutter worsens along with it, as more and more stuff accumulates without it ever being discarded. You can imagine the level of danger a severely cluttered house can pose to an elderly person when the stuff becomes a trip and fire hazard, and hygiene cannot be maintained.
That’s the worldview of this disorder. The Bible has an even grimmer prognosis. But we’ll get to that later.
To a degree, I was prone to hoarding myself. Before I became a born-again Christian, I had one room in my house that was completely inaccessible. It contained all kinds of stuff I didn’t want to part with as I felt I could need it in the future. To find something, I had to climb over piles of clothes, tableware, memorabilia, my old children’s toys, and boxes with all kinds of forgotten things. It was messy and infested. I always wanted to clean up that room but I procrastinated for years. That task seemed way too daunting, so I just kept the door closed. I was deeply embarrassed and upset when someone accidentally opened it because I tried to hide the clutter, even for myself. I realized later, that this was something I did with my mental and spiritual clutter too…
Besides the stuff in that room, I also hoarded things like digital photos, magazines, various documents, spare parts, and work I had produced ages ago. It was so bad, that to this day, I still run into things that need discarding. Thank God that He helped me and continues to help me overcome hoarding.
I am keen to share what I learned so far.
Causes of hoarding
Psychiatry is still somewhat clueless about what causes hoarding disorder. There might be all kinds of underlying mechanisms and even genetics at play. But I’ve seen that people who have suffered traumatic events in their childhood are more likely to start hoarding to some degree in adulthood. And I’ve seen how the loss of a loved one can worsen the symptoms, especially when you want to hang on to anything that reminds you of that person. These people don’t have to suffer from hoarding disorder per se, but their hoarding can be problematic nonetheless.
Problematic hoarding has two components: what comes in and what goes out. Too much stuff comes in, and too little stuff goes out. To establish a cause and to find the solution, we have to look at both components.
These are some of the reasons why we acquire more than we need:
Forgetting and underestimating what we already have
Trauma can cause forgetfulness. I remember buying the same shirt three times because I couldn’t remember I had bought it before. I discovered the first two when I finally worked through the stuff hidden in the room that I frantically tried to keep shut. But that was not the only problem, I always thought I needed more. More clothes, more shoes, more information from books, newspapers, and magazines. For some reason, I thought I never had enough even though, in reality, I had more than I could handle.
Loving the dopamine rush associated with buying something new
I almost became a shopaholic trying to fill the lack of joy and emptiness with new things, especially clothes. Buying new things triggers a release of feel-good chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. That is a welcome boost for someone who feels down, empty or stressed most of the time. But, because the good feeling only lasts for a short while, you will need another boost real soon, which can lead to money problems and other issues.
Having a hard time setting boundaries
I had a problem with setting or even feeling boundaries. That meant that I couldn’t really tell when enough was enough. When someone gave me something, I would never say ‘no’ because I valued pleasing that person over taking care of myself, and who knows if I would need it in the future.
These are some of the reasons why we don’t part with the things we have:
Overestimating the value of what we have
For some reason, I continued to believe that the knowledge in magazines, old newspapers, old books, and files I kept would come in handy one day. Even though I never bothered to look at them and consulted online sources instead. Now, I estimate that 90% of what I hoarded was worthless or became worthless over time, 8% could be sold, and 2% turned out to be somewhat useful, but only after it had occupied valuable space for years.
For example, I had rented a storage box for many years to store a baby bed, children’s books, electronics, and appliances. I could have saved thousands of Euros if I had sold those things instead of holding on to them for a future that never came. And, to make matters worse, before that wisdom came, most of it was ruined when there was a leakage at the storage facility.
Input bias and having invested too much to stop now
Collecting and keeping things isn’t free. It takes resources such as money, energy, and space. Our brain is wired to believe that the things we pour a lot of resources into, must be of great value. Many games are designed to keep you engaged by that same principle. They make you collect things or build “resources” that you don’t want to lose since you have poured in time and energy to acquire them, so you stick with the game. If you are prone to addiction, or in need of the occasional dopamine rush, you may be extra susceptible.
Not seeing the importance of decluttering
When you are literally trying to survive the day, tidying up comes at the bottom of the list of priorities. And, because trauma survivors may experience a degree of disconnection from their feelings, they don’t always consciously experience the negative effects of a cluttered home, even though the effect is real. Chaos in the home can be a reflection of the chaos in the mind, but it can also cause chaos in the mind. It can create a feeling of unrest and the constant pressure of unfinished business that is waiting for us to be dealt with. The visual noise the clutter creates needs to be constantly filtered out by the brain, which costs energy, where energy is usually already sparse. No wonder that sensory overload makes it harder to hear God!
Feeling paralyzed or overwhelmed
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and experience task paralysis when you are already emotionally overloaded, exhausted, or even burned out. So, even when you feel that you need to get rid of at least a few things, starting or even figuring out where to start can feel like a daunting task.
Having false beliefs that hold you back
“I will need this in the future,” “This cost me so much, it would be a terrible waste to get rid of it,” “I got this from a dear aunt who passed, it would be disrespectful to get rid of it,” “I will fix this broken thing soon,” and “This will be of value in the future,” are all thoughts that I had or things that I heard other people say that stopped them from getting rid of things.
Sometimes thoughts stem from unrealistic hopes, such as hanging on to clothes that you wore 20 years ago, because you hope to lose an unrealistic amount of weight.
But if you feel depressed or disappointed in life, the false beliefs can be very negative, for example, “I deserve to be reminded of the mistake I made when I got this,” or “I will keep this to remind myself of what this person has done to me,” or “I need evidence of the pain that they caused.”
Becoming upset when people want to help
Often, people who don’t want to get rid of their stuff feel that friends or family members who try to help them are domineering and out to hurt them. They don’t trust their motives and can get upset and emotional. This is hard for both the one doing the hoarding as well as the loved ones who put in a lot of effort with the best intentions. But it makes sense for the one who wants to hold on to his things because to him it is valuable and necessary to keep his possessions, and perhaps even a means of survival. From their point of view, someone who wants to take that away from them, cannot have good intentions.
Not ready to be confronted with things in your past
Without fully realizing it, we can be held captive by our past due to unresolved trauma, bitterness, unforgiveness, or pride. Each time that we look at the stuff from a particular phase in our lives, it can bring back painful memories and unwanted emotions, so logically, we steer clear of that.
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Applying Biblical wisdom to hoarding
So, what does the Bible say about hoarding?
First the hard part: the Bible is pretty clear about the fact that without Jesus, hoarding will lead to destruction. We can draw this conclusion from several Bible verses. Let’s start with Mark 10, in which a rich man turned away from Jesus as he was prepared to keep all the commandments, but not at all prepared to leave his possessions behind to follow Jesus. “And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” (Verse 21-22, ESV).
Note that Jesus loved him, but the man loved his possessions more than Jesus. Because of this, the man walked away from the One who could save him.
Jesus wants us to dedicate all of ourselves to Him: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37, ESV) We cannot reserve a part of our heart for our possessions, as we cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). And “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21, ESV).
The rich man’s treasure was not in heaven, but on earth. The actual value of what this man had isn’t really relevant; it’s the value that we attach to what we have.
And we choose what we value most, each and every day.
It’s not a sin to be rich, but it is a sin to be selfish, lazy, and stingy towards God, as we can see in the parable of the rich fool in Luke 12: “And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’ “But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.” (Verses 19-21, ESV).
By holding on to anything that isn’t used to glorify God in some way, we communicate any or all of these messages:
- The thing we hold on to is more important than God.
- We care more about ourselves than the other people who might need something more than we do.
- We know what the future holds because we claim to know that we will need that thing in the future.
- God cannot provide for our needs in the future.
- We’d rather carry the burden of stuff, than Jesus’s light yoke.
This means that any type of hoarding that is not God-glorifying, is simply a fleshly, self-serving act.
Instead of storing up things for ourselves, God wants us to do two things:
- Trust Him and His ability to provide completely (Matthew 6:25-33, Psalm 111:5, 78:20-22, Philippians 4:6, 11-13, 19, 1 Timothy 6:17).
- Share what we have with the poor (Proverbs 14:21, 14:31, 19:17, 22:9, 31:20, 2 Corinthians 9:9).
This sharing of what we have is not about possessions per se. It is also about sharing spiritual bread with the poor in spirit (2 Corinthians 6:10, Luke 4:18). But the last cannot be done in all honesty if one is not willing to do the first. Because what does it say about one’s heart if one cannot part with their possessions? They will either not see the worth of the spiritual bread that is right in front of them, or they will keep that for themselves as well.
That’s not to say that it can’t be wise to store up some things with a greater (God-glorifying) good in mind. Like Noah and Joseph did; they stored up food for the survival of people and animals in faith and obedience to God (Genesis 6:21, 41:35-56). God provided through their obedience and trust in Him. So, the reason why they hoarded, begins with those two things we just mentioned God wants us to do. They, and the people around them, all had enough because of their obedience and trust in God. God blessed them as a result of their faith and obedience, and in turn, they were a blessing to the people around them. That is how God wants all of us to operate.
Their faith and obedience had a major impact on the history of the world. We, as Christians in this day and age, can also leave a big imprint on history, simply by trusting God and sharing with the poor.
There is hope!
Now that we see that selfish hoarding is not pleasing to God and that it can even stand in the way of salvation, we know that something needs to be done. And… The good news is that the Bible also provides us with the way to victory over hoarding.
The rich man who walked away from Jesus followed his flesh and couldn’t be saved, at least at that time. But those who follow the Way of the Spirit can be saved. After the rich man sorrowfully left, Jesus said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him, “Then who can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:25-27, ESV).
That means there is hope for all who were used to putting their trust in stuff. It is as simple as putting our trust in Jesus instead:
In 1 Timothy 6:17-19, it says, “As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”
There was a time when I was like that rich man who walked away from Jesus, in the sense that I stored up treasure for myself here on earth.
It took me years to get rid of my clutter, but it was so worth it. I had never noticed how much of a mental burden it was. My process started as soon as I had psychological help: the clearing up of my mind, helped me to feel the need to clear up my living space too. This process changed and intensified as soon as I was born again: the Holy Spirit began a purge in His home (me) and my home, getting rid of all evil stuff and everything else that stood in the way of following Christ. Then I learned how much of a spiritual burden I was carrying with me.
First, He pointed out all the spiritually dangerous stuff I had to destroy Then I gave away the useful things to places like second-hand stores, the Salvation Army, or church charity events. The things that were actually worth something, like any gold jewelry that I owned, I sold, and that money went into starting this ministry. That was when my sharing of spiritual bread with the poor in spirit could truly begin.
What I just said has major implications, because it means that Jesus took away all of the reasons for hoarding that I stated before. Remember what those were?
Forgetting and underestimating what I already have – cured
I used to forget and underestimate what I already had, but now, because I have less stuff, I have a better overview of what I have, which helps my memory. I appreciate what I have, thank God for it, and understand that I don’t need more things. But more importantly, as soon as I started parting with my stuff, I started going through a process of learning to trust God, as He would always provide enough, each and every day.
Loving the dopamine rush associated with buying something new – cured
I used to love the dopamine rush associated with buying something new. Even though I still find shopping a pleasant activity, buying new stuff does not give me that dopamine rush anymore. And I don’t have to fill an emptiness in my heart as Jesus filled me up with His love. Buying has become more and more functional, a means to an end. I feel that what I buy must serve a greater purpose, namely glorifying God. And that greater purpose does give me a dopamine rush: studying the Word of God with the Holy Spirit and finding new treasures to share with you guys, is what I love doing more than anything now.
Having a hard time setting boundaries – cured
I used to have a very hard time setting my boundaries. I started so far down the line that I had no clue what proper boundaries were, let alone sense if someone was crossing them. You can imagine how that could get me into trouble. Understanding boundaries, sensing them, and setting them had first gotten better through therapy. But my real breakthrough came when my relationship with Jesus began and the Holy Spirit started to let me know what His boundaries are. And of course, His boundaries should be mine. Slowly but surely, after much practice, that took all of the remaining doubt and unclarity out of the equation. Now, He sets the boundaries of what pleases Him and what doesn’t.
Overestimating the value of what I have – cured
I used to overestimate the value of what I had. Now, I understand that nothing is worth anything under the sun. Things only have value if they serve God in some way. Besides, God can provide me with anything I need, so why would I put my trust in the provided, rather than the Provider?
Input bias and having invested too much to stop now – cured
I thought that I had invested too much to get rid of my possessions. I now realize that this was a distracting lie, and learned that I should invest all my resources in what matters to God.
Not seeing the importance of decluttering – cured
I see the importance of not having too much clutter, as it stands in the way of serving God fully. This means that my husband and I are still trying to minimize our stuff. Because God carries me and helps me to do His will, I don’t have to survive the day each day or fill my mind with worries. That leaves room in my mind to declutter when necessary.
Feeling paralyzed or overwhelmed – cured
The task of decluttering used to be daunting to me. Until the Holy Spirit motivated me from the inside out. Step by step, He gave me the drive, and the urge to get rid of what was standing between Him and me, and what was generally unhelpful or unhealthy. With each step, He dug a little deeper, so that I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. Doing it in the Spirit, rather than in the flesh made the task as light as a feather.
Having false beliefs that hold me back – cured
All of my false beliefs about stuff melted like snow before the sun. Lies will automatically come to light when confronted with the Truth and Light of God. I also felt hopeful for the bright future that God has in store for me, and as hope and joy in the Truth increased, it automatically took the place of the negative false beliefs.
Becoming upset when people want to help – cured
Although I did not immediately get upset with the people who wanted to help me throw away stuff, I would often resent the action in my heart, for years to come. When my husband helped me clear out my stuff, I knew he was God-sent, and so I trusted him. It was necessary too, because when we married, we also had to “marry” two full households. But I loved him much more than my stuff, so, I was happy to sacrifice much of what I owned. Nowadays, we still keep each other accountable when it comes to decluttering.
Not ready to be confronted with things in your past – cured
Fully coming to terms with my past, and healing my mental wounds caused by CPTSD, was a long journey for me. It took a lot of therapy and a lot of help from God, but victory came! Dealing with the trauma and forgiving perpetrators, was something that had to be done carefully and step by step, like peeling the layers from an onion.
I remember that, when I was eighteen, someone helped me to get rid of the presents, letters, and photos that one of my abusers had given me. He stuffed it all into a large trash bag, and we threw it away. But, in my heart, I wasn’t ready for that. I hadn’t forgiven him- I hadn’t dealt with that abuse in any way. So, I resented doing that in my heart for over 20 years. I felt guilty for throwing “evidence” away, thinking that one day it might have served me when I would dare to go to the police with it. Not that it would have mattered: the day I had found enough courage to go to the police, the statute of limitations had already expired. That meant that it was up to God to deal with that man, and that is when I slowly learned to forgive him. After that forgiveness, I couldn’t care less about the stuff I had thrown out. I was free!
However, I’m not saying that you should recklessly throw evidence away that you might need in a court case, as that wouldn’t be wise. But I am saying that you should not be held captive by unforgiveness, bitterness, or fear of man. These are not the right reasons to hold on to anything.
Of course, this all remains a work in progress for me. You will never hear me say that I have “arrived” because there is always more to learn and we can always go deeper in becoming like Jesus. To this day, I keep finding stuff that I should give away, or that I feel a little too attached to, and I believe that this could go on for the rest of my life. There will always remain good opportunities for me to glorify God more in many different areas of my life.
And remember that it wasn’t my own achievement; it was the Holy Spirit’s work in me. And this means, that anyone who accepts Jesus as Lord of his or her life, can do it.
So how can we help other people who are hoarding?
If one thing, this journey makes clear that one can only have victory over hoarding when the motivation comes from within. We cannot force other people to do anything, nor should we. Instead, we should shower them with love and light. We can only hope and pray that someone finds the need to make changes, if not for them, for the people they leave behind. Thinking this way relieves us from taking on a burden that is not ours to carry. And worrying about that burden in the future – well we all know that Jesus teaches us not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34).
The life a person chooses to lead is between them and God, but there might come a time when the people we love become desperate enough to seek help. When that time comes, we can assist them without being exhausted from trying to convince them and achieving nothing, except maybe verbal abuse.
They might willingly go into therapy (which only helps if they want to be helped). Or, in the best outcome, they may give their hearts to Jesus. Once Jesus has the number one spot in their hearts, everything will change for the better for them.
So, ultimately, the best way to help our hoarding loved ones is to pray for them and to continue to love them. Then God will do the rest.